A Slow Nudes Day
Tennessee cops took a long while to apprehend a man who was driving erratically down a county road, but not because he was speeding too fast for them to catch up with – he never topped 20 miles an hour while maneuvering through the streets ... while stark naked.
James Joseph Bell veered off paved roads into fields and farmland on several occasions during the chase, which took several hours. According to officers who eventually hauled him in, the nude 29-year-old appeared to be under the influence of some substance.
Bell faces a variety of charges, although, on the bright side, speeding is not among them. (Union County Messenger)
Busted For Halloween Nose Candy
A British man is in police custody after allegedly giving kids a Halloween "treat" that would've rotted more than just their teeth – tiny packets of cocaine.
Donald Junior Green was busted after kids started going home with their holiday bounty and parents noticed the drugs mixed in with the usual array of chocolates and chewy snacks. When tests for cocaine turned up positive, Green was taken into custody and charged with distribution of illegal narcotics.
That's what we'd call a cheap trick. (CNN)
Just Say "Ow!"
A Florida man was busted after he attempted to buy drugs from two strangers who insisted they didn't have any – then tried to run them down with his car when he came away empty-handed.
John Douglas Boykin became agitated when he found out the narcotic cupboard was bare, and began trying to pick a fight with the other men. He chased one of the men around the parking lot, then struck the other, dragging him about 50 feet when his clothing became caught on Boykin's car.
The man was not seriously hurt, but Boykin was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill, and aggravated battery using a deadly weapon. (NWF Daily News)
Tyrannosaurus Wrecked!
A drug dealer in Indiana was hauled in by cops last week after they turned up at his house while he was in the middle of an LSD trip – only to have him thank them, since he was sure they'd save him from the dinosaurs that were after him.
The officers showed up at Edward Kirk's house after his neighbors complained of his loud ranting about dinosaurs and aliens, and he immediately took them to his huge stash of psychedelic drugs, which he says he was peddling because he was doing "the people's work."
A further search of Kirk's place turned up thousands of doses of LSD and a wide array of other illicit materials. We think it's safe to call Kirk a Jurassic-hole. (The Smoking Gun)
