Lap Dunce
Cops saw right through this smokescreen. A Florida woman tried to fend off indecency charges by telling them her head was buried in the unclothed lap of an elderly man because she was looking for her cigarettes there.
Karnesha Nantz and Jack Fisher were both hauled in after an officer spotted them in a compromising position in the front seat of Fisher's car. Nantz said she'd met Fisher days earlier and asked him for a ride so she could go to a friend's home to buy drugs.
Both were charged with disorderly conduct and breach of peace after making ashes of themselves during the incident.
Source: Off the Beat
Stupor Bowl
A suspected drug dealer in Florida didn't bowl anyone over with his cleverness. He unsuccessfully attempted to avoid jail by confessing his guilt and then trying to flush the tape recorder down a police station toilet.
Patrick Townsend was pulled over on traffic charges and found to be in possession of more than 30 grams of methamphetamine, which he told the deputy was no big deal -- since he's used to carrying around pounds of the stuff. Oops. The officer taped Townsend's confession, but when he turned to attend to something else, the suspect grabbed the recorder and headed for the bathroom -- where he tried to dispose of it.
Townsend, who remains in custody on the charges, offered one bit of advice to the detective -- "Tighten up on your job, homie."
Source: Lakeland Ledger
Dental Damn!
A Florida man who was under investigation for performing illegal dental work compounded his crimes by pausing in the middle of an exam to give a patient a peck on the cheek -- the butt cheek!
John Collazos operated his phony clinic from his apartment, and charged bargain basement prices for his work -- which makes sense, since he's not a dentist. He'd been charged with running a similar operation from inside a warehouse, but had that closed down earlier this year.
This time around, the victim says that Collazos applied a numbing paste to a painful tooth, then told her he needed her to pull down her pants so he could offer a more effective anesthetic shot -- before kissing her on the butt. He faces a variety of charges.
Source: MSNBC
