The Grinch Who Got Handcuffed
We all know it's not nice to be a Grinch, but it may actually be illegal – as a Canadian man found out when he was cuffed for telling kids that there's no Santa.
The 24-year-old, whose name was not released, showed up at a children's parade in the town of Kingston after downing several alcoholic beverages and gelling his hair into the shape of devil horns. He then began shouting at random kids, expressing his beliefs about Kris Kringle and causing a general commotion.
He was trundled off by police, and a department spokesman said, "It's pretty despicable this time of year that someone would tell kids that Santa isn't real – which we, of course, would argue." (Toronto Star)
A Heavenly Alibi
An Alabama man wasted no time in turning in his accomplice when cops busted him for a pair of bank robberies – he told them that God was the brains behind the operation.
Christopher Bruce said he was in a bad financial spot and couldn't find a job because he had a felony record, so he prayed for guidance ... and was told to go ahead and pull the knifepoint stick-ups. Police tracked him down fairly quickly, because he wrecked his car while escaping the second robbery, and left his driver's license behind when fleeing.
He readily confessed to the crimes and, according to the arresting officer, "He said he even pulled over on the side of the road and prayed about it. He just couldn't find it in himself to do anything different." (WBRC)
Flaming Idiot
A Nevada man is facing a wide array of charges after calling cops to report that he'd witnessed a shooting – only to have them show up to the scene and find him dancing half-naked between fires he'd started.
Tod Jerome Johnson called police to report that multiple people needed help for gunshot wounds, so, as one police spokesman put it, "We rolled the cavalry out there." When they arrived, they found Johnson dancing amid the flames wearing only his tighty-whities and socks – despite the fact that the temperature was below freezing.
First responders needed to sedate the 47-year-old to get him to a local hospital, where he was charged with arson and battery – for kicking a paramedic and spitting in the face of a nurse. (Elko Daily)
Up on the Bleepin' Rooftop
On the first day of Christmas, a Louisiana woman gave her neighbors one finger flipping – in the form of a light display designed to look like an extended middle finger pointed in their direction.
Officials in the town of Denham Springs thought Sarah Henderson was being naughty, not nice, and ordered her to remove the display, which they said did not show the proper holiday spirit. A spokesman for the local police department said that the order was given because her over-sized expression of disdain violated state obscenity laws – but the ACLU has intervened on her behalf, asking that she be allowed to decorate her roof as she wishes.
Henderson says that she's had a long-running dispute with her neighbors and claims the illuminated finger is "the only means I have to express myself to these people ... I've always been a little bit different." (Baton Rouge Advocate)
