Lodged in the Colon
Most people go out of their way to avoid staying in a crappy hotel, but now there's an ideal spot for folks who are looking for just that – a lodge designed to look exactly like a human colon – with an exit to match.
The Hotel CasAnus, which repurposes a huge piece of modern art, sits on a small island just off Antwerp, Belgium, and runs about 150 bucks a night. It's part of a resort run by and for art-lovers, and those with a gut feeling that sleeping in a colon might be a good time.
The owner says, "If the novelty of staying in a giant polyester intestine wears off, there's always the thrill of spending the night alone in an artwork." (Huffington Post)
Ironing Irony
A Polish man couldn't stop the presses when he distractedly reached for a ringing phone and ended up holding a hot iron to his ear instead.
Tomasz Paczkowski [pr: PATCH-kow-ski] was helping his wife complete her chores when he had the "clothes" call with severe burns. He says he was distracted because he was trying to do the laundry while watching boxing on television.
To make things even worse, he badly bruised his noggin while running into the kitchen to get some cold water to pour on his burning ear. On the bright side, he's opened up a whole new world of ethnic jokes for the world's comics. (UPI)
Jail Scheme a Real Milk Dud
An inmate in an Iowa prison probably drew a lot of snickers from his fellow jailbirds when he got two years tacked on to his sentence – for trading his stash of pain pills for candy.
Donald Washburn, who had previously been convicted on fraud charges, proved himself to be a sucker by trying to use his prescription for oxycodone to feed his sweet tooth – only to come away with mounds of trouble instead. The new sentence will run concurrently with the 11 years he is slated to serve for bilking investors out of $800,000 in a phony gambling scheme.
Guess you could say he hit a sour patch. (Des Moines Register)
Car Jerk
A wanna-be California crook found himself stuck in neutral after trying – and failing – to carjack three separate vehicles in the same parking lot in one day.
His first attempt ran out of gas when he approached a woman and ordered her into her car, only to have her climb in as requested – and then drive off. Strike two occurred after he brandished a weapon and succeeded in chasing her into one of the stores around the lot, where she reported his actions to security.
The final indignity came when his third mark complied with his request to leave her car, with the keys in the ignition, but then activated a kill switch that locked him in the vehicle. He managed to break a window and escape ... on foot. (WNBC)
