Nine Lives, Nine Volts!
A cat burglar in Great Britain was revealed to be just that – a cat with a yen to wander into strangers' homes, making off with their spare keys.
Milo, a restless tabby, was outfitted with a magnetic collar to allow her to get in and out of his owners' cat door while keeping other felines at bay. The plan worked out well until the kitty began catting around the neighborhood, attracting keys and other small metal objects to her collar.
Once suspicion fell on Milo, her owner began a search of her own property and discovered more than 20 sets of keys strewn around the house and yard, along with dozens of other small metal objects. The stuff has been returned, and Milo's magnetic personality remains intact. (Daily Mail)
The Long Finger of the Law
A wanna-be crook in Florida got fingered by a cool and calm gas station attendant who responded to his demand that she hand over the station's dough by handing over something else – a proudly flipped middle finger.
The unidentified thug walked into a Shell station holding a large plastic garbage bag, then placed a Snickers bar on the counter near the register before demanding the cash. The attendant recognized the guy as a regular customer and laughed off the incident, until he pulled out a gun and repeated his request – also demanding she turn over her cell phone.
She laughingly held her hands up, middle fingers extended, but didn't make any move toward the register, frustrating the crook, who grabbed the candy bar and fled. (Orlando Sun Sentinel)
An Onion Ringer
A traffic deputy in Florida gave folks a real reason to cry after being pulled over – by handing them onions instead of paper tickets for their infractions.
Lou Caputo, an officer in the Florida Keys, often dresses as the Grinch at this time of year, and hands out the stinky onions to drivers who've been mildly naughty – by driving less than five miles per hour over the speed limit. He actually gives speeders the choice between an onion and a real ticket, and says that nine times out of ten, they choose the onion.
Which means one out of 10 Floridians voluntarily take the ticket and pay the fine. Guess that's why they call it Flori-DUH. (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)
Gas Leak Causes Domestic Woes
South Carolina cops were called to the scene of a potentially deadly domestic situation where a gas leak nearly caused a major explosion – when it erupted from the back end of a 46-year-old man.
Michael Manatis' wife says she had to spring into action after he began passing gas that was pungent enough "to make her want to puke," so she responded with a hearty spray of vanilla-scented Lysol. He says she sprayed the disinfectant into his eyes, rather than the area that was responsible for the scent, which prompted him to douse her with a pan filled with water.
Shannon Manatis claims she was also struck in the head with a glass of tea, but cops found no sign of that. Who says we're facing a gas shortage? (UPI)
