Dumping Her Hubby
A Florida woman found a unique way to comment on her husband's crappy behavior – by pooping on the floor outside the bedroom after finding him in bed with another woman.
Brenda Schumann let off some steam by leaving the steamer on the carpet when she caught the cheater in the act – then following it up by telling him he was number one by making number one alongside. She then grabbed a gun and began blasting away at items that her hubby valued before dropping the weapon and fleeing the scene.
Cops tracked her down at a nearby apartment and charged her with domestic violence and assault. She must have been wiped out after all that! (Huffington Post)
Stripped of Their Licenses
A Texas lawmaker wants to put an end to strippers taking it all off in nightclubs – by requiring them to display a license on their person while they're onstage.
Republican State Representative Bill Zedler thinks he can make professional clothes-shedding safer for everyone by demanding that dancers be licensed – although he hasn't explained exactly what sort of test might be administered to potential shakers of the groove thing. He says that his goal is to make it more difficult for gals to get stripper gigs, and discourage some from taking that path.
Zedler say,s "I think it would keep a lot of girls from getting involved in that lifestyle and basically wrecking their lives." (Fort Worth Star-Telegram)
Return Policy Is Wack
A Cleveland-area man called cops because he wanted to return some merchandise that he regretted purchasing – 300 bucks worth of crack cocaine.
The man, whose name was not released, called 911 after smoking a little more than half of the crack, then experiencing a major bout of buyer's remorse. Officers were dispatched to the man's home, where they collected the drugs and had a chat with him, determining he needed to be taken to a psychiatric hospital – a move he agreed to.
That return policy isn't all it's cracked up to be. (Cleveland Plain Dealer)
Assault With a Deadly Root Beer
A woman in Washington state called cops to demand that something be done to remedy a serious situation – the fact that she wanted to be taken to prison, despite the fact that she hadn't committed any crime.
The woman, whose name was not released, was hanging out at a convenience store when cops responded to a call she'd made asking for a one-way trip to jail. When the officer told her he needed a reason to haul her in, she asked, "What if I assault you?" before popping him in the nose with a plastic soda bottle.
She then turned and offered her hands for cuffing, which the officer agreed to, taking her in on charges of felony assault on a police officer. Wouldn't a simple jaywalk have done the trick? (UPI)
